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Now that I have another child, I tend to take things slower. One step at a time.

I used to rely on the existence of checklists. Developmental milestone checklists to see which developmental area Reena needs to work on.

I used to rush Reena to learn and unknowingly,  might have forced her to grow up sooner than she is supposed to.

I wanted so much for Reena to challenge her cognitive skills to its limit. I suceeded in a way; Reena is quite brilliant for her age, she can recognise and name quite a few things via flashcards and concrete materials.

I did however lose out on one thing, the only chance to really enjoy Reena in that particular phase of life. I can't ever get that back.

I worried about how her hair was not thick enough, how late she decided to finally walk, how 'small' she used to be (even now).

I did not (not) worry for a minute.


Therefore with Irman, I am not as winded up as I used to be. I treasure all the little things that he has.

I have never applied any form of oil or cream on his head that "promotes" hair growth. I want his hair to grow at its own pace. I want his head to smell exactly how it is without having the faintest scent of any hair growth cream or oil. I have had people commenting on how his hair is not growing fast enough, but it didn't bother me the slightest bit.  I love the very smell of his head. Quite odd for a baby but nevertheless, a unique 'Irman' scent.


I have had feedbacks from others saying that I should allow my baby to combine breastfeeding with formula feeding to enable me to engage my daily activities  or to make babies 'full'. I used to do that with Reena. But with Irman, I let him latch as long as he wants to. That feeling that you sometimes get, that nobody needs your presence anymore; evaporates when your baby cries FOR you. I had that in the hospital, Alhamdulillah I was able to breastfeed irman, the nurse would wake me up hourly to feed him. I do not mind that at all, in fact; I enjoyed having my baby close to me.

From the mistake that I made, Reena gets frustrated very easily if she can't achieve something :( we are working on that now, asking her to try again slowly.

Irman on the other hand, is now a very happy baby, perhaps due the very fact that I am not 'expecting' too much of him. My ultimate goal is to observe and enjoy his every phase in his growing up years. Having said that, the same rule applies to his cranky sister, I must admit that her constant baby talk and screams does get onto my nerve at times, but I am learning to treasure every single memory of Reena at her current phase.

Insya - Allah I have learnt from raising up my first born. And again insya - Allah this will groom me to be a better mother to my children.