Pitfall

Perfectionism may be the ultimate self-defeating behavior. It turns people into slaves of success—but keeps them focused on failure, dooming them to a lifetime of doubt and depression. It also winds up undermining achievement in the modern world.

After I have left secondary school, with a horrendous "O" Level result, I vowed to do better in my tertiary studies. 
I have had good grades so far, until I met my match, my bachelors' Professors. 

I just read my feedback from for my 1st assignment after a year of not schooling and I am utterly disappointed with myself. It even reached to a point that I do not feel like attending tomorrow's class. 

I BARELY passed that assignment of 3000 words.

 I set high standards of everything. EVERYTHING. The way I cook, the way I look after my kids, the way I tidy up my room, the way I work and the list goes on. 

Because of this I worry a lot. A LOT. 

And if something doesn't work out just as how I have set it up to be, I will get depressed and simply, let it go. (My room is a good example, I have no storage space left so it looks like a dump now. And I hate the sight of it. Hence, the agony of key waiting.) 

Letting go is a feeling that I DO NOT NEED right now. I can't pull out of something that I REALLY, REALLY WANT. 

I need a tutor. I need to critically analyse work. I need a nanny to look after my kids while I study. When it comes to looking after children, my husband's body is similar to an 80 year-old-man, it tires easily after 10 minutes. Thus, I can't completely rely on him. 

Let's suck this up for 2 years. That is the duration of my Bachelor. Sighs. Then comes my bond, another 3 years. SIGHS. 

BTO

Before we were married. We actually tried our luck with a few bto projects.

These projects include :

1. Buangkok
2. Pasir Ris
3. Sengkang

But sadly ALL were rejected with stupid reasons such as "you are not eligible because you aren't married.." and so forth.

Punggol Topaz was the FOURTH try.

And we got it. But with much dissapointment.

We registered in 2010. Yes 2010. And our particular block will only receive its key in (likely) April 2015.

5 freaking years.

When I DO get my long awaited keys, I will thank the contractor responsible for Topaz site for making me and my family wait for 5 years.

I get frustrated thinking about this. Then I get emotionally distraught when I see projects that started way later than ours, perfectly ready.

Another bad decision I made in life.